Operating off on the typewriter …
Throughout a dialog earlier this week with Orlando Magic tremendous fan Dennis Salvagio — aka “The Fats Man” — this implausible thought popped into my head:
As a result of Magic followers have endured a lot distress and malaise over the past decade, wouldn’t or not it’s nice if the group honored them by sending a longtime, loyal supporter to signify them on the NBA Draft Lottery?
That’s proper, ship the Fats Man to Chicago and let him strive his lottery luck on Might 17.
Nothing in opposition to Jeff Weltman, the Magic’s president of basketball operations who represented the group ultimately yr’s lottery, however coming residence with the fifth and eighth choose in 2021 was fairly disappointing. Sorry, Jeff, however you could bench your self.
The Magic have had group executives, gamers and coaches signify them on the draft lottery over time, so why not a fan? Salvagio, a retired legal professional, put down his first deposit for season tickets in 1986 — three years earlier than the group even began enjoying. And, in fact, he has been entertaining fellow followers for many years together with his rousing, rollicking, dancing, prancing help of the group.
The Fats Man as soon as was so adamant about attempting to steer Dwight Howard to remain in Orlando that he commissioned the assistance of the Down Brothers, a famend native rock band, to file a music video that Salvagio financed and starred in.
Who is aware of? Perhaps the Fats Man can resurrect the well-known lottery luck of Magic co-founder and group govt Pat Williams, who miraculously helped Orlando win the draft lottery in 1992, 1993 and 2004 when the Magic received the rights to pick Shaq, Penny and Dwight.
The Fats Man and Williams have many similarities. They each are showmen, they each went to Wake Forest and so they each moved from Philadelphia to make Orlando their residence.
What about it, Fats Man, do you assume you’ll be able to carry residence the No. 1 general choose?
“You’ll be able to rely on it,” the Fats Man says with out hesitation. “I’m a really fortunate man.”
Appears like a assure to me.
Overlook that outdated saying, “It ain’t over until the fats girl sings.”
When involves the Magic’s buzzard’s luck in latest draft lotteries, it is going to be over when the Fats Man dances. …
Quick stuff: Talking of Orlando Magic draft picks, did you see what Mario Hezonja mentioned the opposite day to a information outlet in Russia the place he’s now enjoying professionally? “I’m not going to return to the NBA; I didn’t get the respect I deserved,” railed Hezonja, the Croatian who was drafted fifth general by Orlando in 2015 and shortly confirmed everybody that the Magic had made a monumental mistake. Memo to Mario: In fact you’re not going to return to the NBA as a result of the NBA hasn’t invited you to return. You have been a bust, keep in mind? The NBA minimize you; you didn’t depart voluntarily! … Hugh Hathcock, a really rich Florida Gators booster, simply donated a file $12.6 million to UF’s athletic program. Hey, that’s nearly sufficient to repay Dan Mullen’s buyout! … Cause No. 935 why I hate the Los Angeles Lakers: Good-guy coach Frank Vogel needed to discover out he was getting fired on Twitter slightly than listening to it first from the group’s president of basketball operations LeBron James. Within the days earlier than Twitter, the Magic averted the same embarrassment when instantly after a televised sport between Orlando and Chicago in 1997, NBC’s league insider Peter Vecsey went on the post-game present and reported that Penny Hardaway and different Magic gamers have been orchestrating a revolt that will value Brian Hill his job. On his approach to the locker room after the sport, Hill was whisked right into a mop closet on the enviornment by former Magic normal supervisor John Gabriel, who briefed the coach on Vecsey’s report. Just a few days later, Hill was fired. …
Are you able to imagine Cam Newton really mentioned he desires ladies to get again to cooking, being quiet and letting males lead? In associated information, Newton simply purchased his vital different a brand new butter churn for her birthday. Has anyone knowledgeable Cam that it’s 2022, not 1952? … How a lot have purses grown in golf over time? Right here’s all you could know: During the last two months Ted Scott, the caddie of Masters champion Scottie Scheffler, has made nearly half as a lot as the good Arnold Palmer received throughout his total golf profession. … I’m not saying I’m fully uninspired by the kickoff of the brand new USFL season this weekend, however listed below are 5 issues I’d slightly do than watch the New Jersey Generals play the Birmingham Stallions: (1) Learn my spam. (2) Path behind my ex-wife at a clothes retailer. (3) Take the corporate’s obligatory “Code of Enterprise Conduct and Ethics” on-line coaching course. (4) Learn the entire anthology of Mel Kiper Jr.’s biggest mock drafts. (5) Have a look at the numerous pictures from associates who Instagram their meals. … From Dwight Perry of the Seattle Instances: “MLB suspended Brewers catcher Pedro Severino after he examined constructive for clomiphene, a drug to deal with infertility — in ladies. He’ll miss 80 video games, or effectively into the season’s second trimester.”…
Stat of the week comes from Jon Heyman of the MLB Community: The Oakland A’s led the majors with the most important payroll ($33 million) in 1991. They’ve the identical payroll as we speak. … Along with some disgusting fees of sexual misconduct and harassment amongst group executives, the NFL’s Washington Commanders now are being accused of withholding ticket income from visiting groups and refundable deposits from followers. Congratulations, Dan Snyder, you and your group have received the Triple Crown for Creepiness. … Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union-Tribune, on the Browns making a commerce for QB Deshaun Watson regardless of 22 sexual-misconduct allegations in opposition to him: “Appears Deshaun’s baggage acquired misplaced on its approach to Cleveland.” … Unsure I purchase the experiences that the Miami Dolphins have been thisclose to signing Tom Brady as quarterback and Sean Payton as the top coach solely to have the plan foiled by ex-coach Brian Flores’ racial discrimination lawsuit in opposition to the group. That may be like me saying, I used to be thisclose to profitable the Pulitzer Prize till some dumb editor wrote a foul headline on my column. … There are solely three Kmarts left in your complete continental United States. Sigh. …
Final phrase: With Thursday being Nationwide Ex-Partner Day, we carry you this from the late, nice Zsa Zsa Gabor: “I’m a wonderful housekeeper. Each time I depart a person, I preserve his home.”
E-mail me at [email protected]. Hit me up on Twitter @BianchiWrites and hearken to my Open Mike radio present each weekday from 6 to 9:30 a.m. on FM 96.9, AM 740 and HD 101.1-2